My Best Friend's Wedding
by madeinfrance
Summary: Sometimes, life doesn't go the way you want it to; unfortunately, you just have to deal with it. The thing was, Beca didn't think she could. BecaxJesse, multi chapters fic.
1. Prologue

_Prologue_

For what felt like (and probably was) the sixteenth time in the last hour, Beca took her shirts out of her bag, cursing herself. She usually wasn't the calmest person in town, but right now...well, she was just a pathetic mess.

Tired of running around her apartment like a maniac, she finally sat down on her bed, hands on the mat on her sides, glaring at the envelop resting on her shelf at the other side of the room.

She was being ridiculous, capital R. She knew it.

Honestly, she had made her decision as soon as she got it, two weeks ago; she couldn't do it. She just couldn't, and she was aware of that – and the tight knot in her stomach that hadn't leave since then just confirmed that.

It wasn't even proper, if you asked her.

For one, she thought – no, she _knew_ \- it was a terrible idea, and was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to keep her opinion to herself (and okay, maybe she said that about a lot of his ideas that turned out not so bad, but this one _actually was_ really stupid. Like, for real).

Two : it would be super weird. Given what they've been – and if she was being honest, what she hoped they still were...it was just really messed up. And she had tried to play that card, too.

But of course, he talked her into it.

Despite all the other excuses she'd prepared, despite her resolve – despite that damn knot, he had managed it. It shouldn't have come to such a surprise, really; after all, he had always been able to talk her into anything.

Smiling slightly at the thought, she glanced at the picture on her bed table. She had called him crazy for improvising a trip like that in such a short time, but she had to admit,it was the best new year she ever had. Hell, the best time, she ever had.

Sighting as she looked away from their tanned, drunk and smiling faces on the Thailand sand, Beca shook her head, the nauseous sensation she had been experiencing for the last two days back at the realization.

Who was she kidding? Of course she had to go. He wanted her to be there, and she couldn't just let him down.

_"I need you here, Becs", he had said over the phone. "Please."_

He was her best friend, had been for almost ten years. He was the one who used to call every day when she was having a hard time finding work, and felt like she was sinking. He was the one that jumped on a plane when she was in a car accident, even if it wasn't that bad. He was even the one who called her not only for her birthday, but also to remind her of her own father's birthday. And seriously, who did that?

He was the man in her life, and always will be. Like hell if she was going to bail on him.

Reluctantly getting up, she threw her clothes on her bag again, adding a few stuff before closing it. She checked the time : only two hours before her flight took off.

"Okay, Beca. Let's do this."


	2. Chapter 1

**Seven years ago**

_Walking back from the Starbucks towards her gate, Beca crossed her arms tightly over her chest. Her hands were getting sweaty, she felt dizzy, and she swore her heart had never, ever beaten so fast before – aca-performances and first kisses and everything else included._

_Panic. Yep, that was definitively what it was._

_Her mind was racing: she could avoid that, right? Because really, she didn't need to do it. She really, really didn't. Sure, her future kinda depended on it, and hers dreams and hopes too, but surely there was another way. There had to be. There always had an-_

_Beca was taken out of her internal war and brought back to reality when she felt a hand on her arm, gently stopping her on her tracks and turning her around. _

_That was it. She knew that was it. It was time, but no way in hell was she going to face that._

_As if on purpose, a loud and apparently very proud of himself kid passed by them, running and laughing, with a red and out of breath mother on his heels._

_"Tony, I swear to God – TONY!"_

_"Oh, wow", Beca said as both of them followed the two runners with their eyes. "Man, that wanker can run."_

_"She should really throw a shoe at him. Better chance to catch him this way by the look of it,", she heard him laugh._

_"Yeah, but it may be a better idea to try the bag, though. Big enough so it could knock him out for a while, and it's ugly anyway, so it's two birds with one stone, really", she smiled and looked back at him, forgetting their situation for a second._

_Too bad it didn't last._

_"So", Jesse smiled down at her, trying to act casual._

_"Yeah", she said, eyes dropping at his feet._

_"Wow, that sucks, huh?", he laughed a little, and even if she knew he was trying to keep it light and joke for her benefit only, it took all she got to do that back for him._

_Nodding a little, she turned her gaze on her right, making sure to avoid his– because yeah no, she couldn't look at him right now._

_"Yeah, hum - ". Oh, great. Now her voice was giving her away, too. "Well, talk for yourself, weirdo. I'm fantastic."_

_She heard him put her equipment on the floor next to him, chuckling a little. _

_"I always knew you just used me for my body."_

_She finally laughed a little, a real laugh, and, with horror, realized tears were forming in her eyes. _

_"Right. It was fun, really, but now I think I need a new toy boy to fool around with, you know? With more biceps, maybe not a nerd this time."_

_"Totally", Jesse nodded, tone fake serious. "A girl has needs, I got that."_

_She chuckled again, and just before her laugh turned into a mini break down, he brought her to him with one arm. "Come here, weirdo."_

_Wrapping her arms around his chest instantly, Beca hold on for dear life and buried her face in his neck. And, not so surprisingly, did not succeed in the least to not start sobbing a little._

_"It's going to be okay, Becs", he whispered, one hand around her shoulders, the other gently stroking her hair, and she could hear his voice break. "You're going to be okay"._

_"No, I'm not", she mumbled against him and tightened her grip, and damn she sounded like a spoiled four year-old._

_She felt more than heard Jesse take a deep breath, and then he was stepping away, a small and weak smile on his face as he cupped hers, finally making her look at him._

_"Yes, you are", he said. "You're gonna rock it. You always do, Mitchell." And then he was kissing her gently, thumb running over her cheek, taking his time even though they didn't have it anymore._

_With a last peck, he bent down to get her stuff and put it on her arms._

_"And now go, because they just called for you and the waitress is glaring at you like, big time"._

_Wiping her tears away and trying to control her breathing, Beca started to back away, looking at him. And when he nodded sadly to her, stil trying to smile because the idiot was still looking after her even now that him, too, was obviously not feeling that great, she turned away completely, not able to take it anymore._

_As she followed the other passengers, breath still more raged, all she could suddenly think about was all the little things. _

_The way he slept with his head on her chest sometimes. That Denim jean which fall just the right way on his hips. The way he looked at her whenever she was unusually upset, and understood it was time to hold her close. His voice. The way he and Amy always rustled, and how he always lost. The way he slightly picked her off the ground when she threw her arms around his neck to hug him. The look he had on his face when he was focused. The thing he did whenever he wanted her to drop what she was working on to focus on him instead. The tears he had in his eyes from laughing too hard at Stacie's crazy stories. The way he always laced his fingers through hers every time they held hands._

_All the little things you don't realize how much you need, until you lose them._

_And with that, she was gone._


End file.
